Jimi the Messiah
Jimi the Messiah, also referred to as Jemiah, MC Jezza and Jamal, is a prophet, supreme being, civil rights activist, nordic warrior and dance champion, whom most followers of Jimizm claim to be the second coming and perhaps even the being who created the universe. Early Life and Services As a child Jimi was recognized as a very gifted individual; he could fly, turn water in beer and mathematics problems were not "problems" in Jimi's eyes. This made him part of Bruce Lee's dojo to control his growing powers. Jimi grew up watching Ainsley Harriott. Harriott taught Jimi the ways of life. Over the years Jimi has done a great deal of service for humanity. He killed many Al-Qaeda as well as many other terrorists from Saudi Arabia including Osama Bin Laden. Jimi is a civil rights activits fighting for a troll rights and has influenced the government of Lithuania to pass the 'Troll Rights Act' of 1999. At one point Jimi was a fucking viking and a nordic adventurer and had slain many dragons. That's why most humans don't believe in dragons anymore, because they were all killed by Jimi. 96% of the United States population said they wanted Jimi to replace Obama as president, but Jimi declined as he was much to busy playing League of Legends to have any political influence. This caused the government to shutdown for a while. Less politically aware people believe this was because of Obamacare. Jimizm Jimizm is a religion that follow's the teaching of Jimi. There are two demoniations of Jimists with slightly different views. The 'Prophet Jimi' followers believe he is the son of God, who just happens to be Chuck Norris, and was cast down a second time to save humanity. However, the 'Divine Jimi' followers believe Jimi is God, and that Chuck Norris doesn't actually existed. These followers insist that the person playing Chuck Norris in movies is an imposter created by Hollywood to make the movies more popular. Dance Career Jimi has been crowned 'The Disco Champion'. He had a dance battle with Michael Jackson in 1984, and since then many new opponents travelled far and wide to battle with Jimi. He has never been beaten and probably never will be. Interests Jimi has had many heroes over the years including Ainsley Harriot, Dolan, Ozzy Osbourne, Johan Hegg, Trivium, Bruce Lee, Barack Obama and Obi Wan Kenobi. Jimi will insist he has never seen Star Wars, but he secretly has. Star Wars is Jimi's favourite franchise and 'The Phantom Menace' is Jimi's favourite film. Jimi enjoys playing League of Legends and can play for 67 straight hours. Jimi once fought a bear and won by decision, so he meets the bear bi-monthly for coffee. He often snuggles up with a hot cup of coco and emerses himself in a good book...twilight. Time Travelling Shower Jimi owns a time travelling shower. He went back in time to kill Jesus so that everyone thought he was the Messiah. Thus, randomly creating the Jimizm religion. Fun Facts He was named after Jimi Hendrix. His penis is 15 inches long. He was once chased by bees. Turned down the role of Christian Grey as he felt it was too similar to his everyday life. Fiddles little kids during the night (not to be confused with The Fiddler).